What kind of palm trees can I plant for privacy in Zone 9 California Desert?

I live in zone 9, very dry. We had a crazy winter 2 years ago causing my new neighbor to cut down their oleanders to our 5 ft fence height and now we can see everything each other does. So I decided it is time to put in my own shrubs. Anyway where can I get some affordable palms that are hardy to this dry area? Yes I can water. I don't want huge palms I actually like those skinny leaf palms with out the spikes, but don't know what they are called. Any suggesttions please?

What kind of palm trees can I plant for privacy in Zone 9 California Desert?
Better to put nice quality lemon, lime and orange plants in close proximity and trim them will serve your purpose as well you will have the best fruits for your good health and longevity, tree ripe is different then the store ripe and insecticide sprayed fruit
Reply:Thank you. Report It
Reply:oleanders are very rapid growing plants so they should be back to there original hight in like 2-3 years

What's the best lowgrowing shrub that wont kill my dog if she eats it?

I have a chocolate lab that tries to eat everything new in the yard, and I want to landscape in spite of her. Oleanders, elephant ears, azaleas, berry-bearing hollys are all out. What else is there?

What's the best lowgrowing shrub that wont kill my dog if she eats it?
Since "Granny" is dissing everyone, it's interesting that she lists my resource!



This list is from a pet information site and a reliable source for safety. A list of "do not" plants that are poisonous will not cover plants that are not pet friendly. All of the plants on THIS list are not poisonous to pets! Check out my source at the bottom for more great info on pet friendly yards!!



A

Achira

Acorn squash

African violet

Algaroba

Aluminum plant

Alumroot

American rubber

Anthericum comosum

Antirrhinum multiflorum

Arabian gentian

Aregelia

Artillery plant

Aspidium falcatum

Aubepine

Autumn olive



B

Bachelors buttons

Ball fern

Bamboo

Bamboo palm

Bamboo vine

Banana

Banana squash

Begonia species

Belmore sentry palm

Big shellbark hickory

Bitter pecan

Bitternut

Black haw

Black hawthorn

Blaspheme vine

Bloodleaf

Blooming sally

Bluebottle

Blue bead

Blue daisy

Blue echeveria

Blue-*****

Blue-eyed daisy

Blunt leaf peperomia

Blushing bromeliad

Bold sword fern

Boston fern

Bottlebrush

Bottle Palm

Brazilian orchid

Bride's bonnet

Bristly greenbrier

Broom hickory

Brodiaea pulchella

Butterfly ginger

Butterfly iris

Bullbrier

Bur gourd

Burro's tail

Buttercup squash

Butterfly squash



C

Caeroba

Calathea insignis

Calthea lancifolia

California pitcher plant

Callistemon bradyandrus

Callistemon viminalis

Callistemon citrinus

Calochortus nuttalli

Camellia

Canada hemlock

Canary date palm

Candle plant

Candycorn plant

Canna lily

Cantebury-bell

Cape jasmine

Cape primrose

Carob

Carob tree

Caroba

Carobinha

Carolina hemlock

Carrion flower

Carrot flower

Carrot fern

Casaba melon

Cast Iron plant

Cat brier

Cat ear

Cattleya labiata

Celosia globosa

Celosia plumosa

Celosia spicata

Chamaedorean

Chaparral

Chenille plant

Chestnut

Chicken-gizzard

Chickens and hens

Chin-lao-shu

China aster

China root

Chinese plumbago

Chlorophytum

Chlorophytum bechetii

Chocolate soldier

Christmas dagger

Christmas palm

Christmas orchid

Cinnamon

Cinquefoil

Cirrhopetalum

Clearweed

Cliff brake

Cocks comb

Cocktail orchid

Collinia elegans

Color-band

Columnar

Common camellia

Common catbrier

Common garden canna

Common greenbrier

Common snapdragon

Common staghorn fern

Confederate jasmine

Coolwort

Copperlead

Copper rose

Coralardisia

Coral bells

Coralberry

Cornflower

Crape myrtle

Crataegus phaenopyrum

Crataegus spp.

Creeping charlie

Creeping gloxinia

Creeping mahonia

Creeping pilea

Creeping rubus

Creeping zinnia

Crepe myrtle

Crimson bottlebush

Crimson cup

Crisped feather fern

Crossandra

Cucumber

Cushon aloe

Cushion moss

Cyrtudeira reptans



D

Dainty

Dainty rabbits-foot fern

Dallas fern

Dancing doll orchid

Davallia bullata mariessi

Davallia trichomanoides

Desert trumpet

Dichelostemma

Dichorisandra reginae

Dinteranthus vanzylii

Duffii fern

Duffy fern

Dwarf date palm

Dwarf feather fern

Dwarf palm

Dwarf Rose-Stripe Star

Dwarf royal palm

Dwarf whitman fern



E

Earth star

Easter cattleya

Easter daisy

Easter lily cactus

Easter orchid

Edible banana

Elephant-Ear Begonia

Emerald ripple peperomia

English hawthorn

Epidendrum atropurpeum

Epidendrum ibaguense

Epidendrum

Episcia spp.



F

False aralia

Fairy fountain

Fan tufted palm

Feather fern

Feathered amaranth

Fiery reed orchid

Fig leaf gourd

Figleaf palm

Fingernail plant

Fire weed

Fish tail fern

Flame african violet

Flame of the woods

Flame violet

Florida butter-fly orchid

Fluffy ruffles

Forster sentry palm

Fortunes palm

Freckle face

Friendship plant

Frosty

G

Garden marigold

Garden snapdragon

German violet

Gherkins

Ghost leafless orchid

Ghost plant

Giant aster

Giant holly fern

Giant white inch plant

Gibasis geniculata

Globe thistle

Gloxinia

Gold bloom

Gold-fish plant

Golden bells

Golden lace orchid

Golden shower orchid

Good luck palm

Grape hyacinth

Grape Ivy

Great willow herb

Green ripple peperomia

Greenbrier



H

Hagbrier

Hardy baby tears

Hardy gloxinia

Haws

Haws apple

Haworthia

Hawthorn

Hedgehog gourd

Hellfetter

Hemlock tree

Hen and chickens fern

Hens and chickens

Hickory

Hindu rope plant

Holligold

Holly fern

Hollyhock

Honey locust

Honey plant

Honeydew melons

Honeysuckle fuchsia

Hookera pulchella

Horse brier

Hoya carnosa 'exotica'

Hoya carnosa 'krinkle'

Hoya carnosa 'variegata'

Hoya 'Mauna Loa'

Hubbard squash

Hypocyrta spp.



I

Ice plant

Imbricata sword fern

Irish moss

Iron cross begonia

Iron tree

Ivy peperomia

Ivy-leaf peperomia



J

Jackson brier

Jacob's ladder

Japanese aralia

Japanese holly fern

Japanese moss

Japanese pittosporum

Jasmine

Jewel orchid

Joseph's coat

Jungle geranium



K

Kaempferis

Kahali ginger

Kenilworth ivy

Kentia palm

Kenya palm

Kenya violet

Kharoub

King nut

King of the forest

King and queen fern

Kuang-yen- pa-hsieh



L

Lace flower vine

Lace orchid

Ladies ear drops

Lady lou

Lady palm

Lagerstroemia indica

Lance Pleumele

Large

Lady Palm

Laurel-leaved greenbrier

Leather peperomia

Leng-fen tu'an

Leopard lily

Leopard orchid

Lesser snapdragon

Lily of the valley orchid

Linden

Lipstick plant

Little zebra plant

Little fantasy peperomia

Living rock cactus

Living stones

Locust pods

Lou-lang-t'ou

Luther



M

Madagascar jasmine

Magnolia bush

Mahonia aquifolium

Malabar gourd

Malaysian dracaema

Manila palm

Mapleleaf begonia

Maranta

Marbled fingernail

Mariposa lily

Maroon

Mary-bud

Measles plant

Melons

Metallic peperomia

Metallic leaf begonia

Mexican firecracker

Mexican rosettes

Mexican snowballs

Miniature date palm

Minature fish tail

Minature maranta

Minature marble plant

Mistletoe cactus

Mockernut hickory

Mosaic plant

Mosiac vase

Moss agate

Moss campion

Moss fern

Moss phlox

Moss rose

Mossy campion

Mother fern

Mother spleenwort

Mother of pearl

Mountain camellia

Mountain grape

Mulberry bush greenbrier

Mulberry tree

Musa paradisiaca

Muscari armeniacum

Muscari spp.

Muskmellon



N

Narrow leafed pleomele

Natal plum

Neanthe bella palm

Nematanthus spp.

Neanthebella

Neoregelia

Nephrolepsis

Nerve plant

New silver and bronze

Night blooming cereus



O

Odontoglossum spp.

Old man cactus

Old world orchid

Orange star

Oregon grape

Ossifragi vase



P

Paddys wig

Painted lady

Palm lily

Pampus grass

Panamiga

Pansy orchid

Paradise palm

Parlor palm

Parlor plant

Parsley fern

Peace begonia

Peacock plant

Pearl plant

Pearly dots

Peperomia hederifolia

Peperomia peltifolia

Peperomia rotundifolia

Peperomia sandersii

Pepper face

Persian violet

Pheasant plant

Piggy back plant

Pigmy date palm

Pignut

Pignut hickory

Pilea microphylla

Pilea mucosa

Pink Brocade

Pink Pearl

Pink polka dot plant

Pink starlite

Pirliteiro

Pitaya

Plantanus orientalis

Plantanus occidentalis

Platinum peperomia

Platycerium alicicorne

Plumbago larpentiae

Plush plant

Polka dot plant

Polystichum falcatum

Pony tail

Porcelain flower

Pot marigold

Prairie lily

Prairie snowball

Prayer plant

Prickly bottlebrush

Prostrate coleus

Purple baby tears

Purple passion vine

Purple waffle plant

Purpleosier willow



Q

Queen's spiderwort

Queencup

Queens spiderwort

Queensland arrowroot



R

Rabbits foot fern

Rainbow orchid

Red african violet

Red berried greenbrier

Red edge peperomia

Red hawthorne

Red palm lily

Red veined prayer

Reed palm

Resurrection lily

Rex begonia

Rhynchophorum

Ribbon plant (Chlorophytum comosum)

Roosevelt fern

Royal velvet plant

Rubber plant, baby

Russian olive



S

Saffron spike zebra

Saint Bernards lily

Sand lily

Sand verbena

Satin pellionia

Sawbrier

Scabious

Scarborough lily

Scarlet orchid

Scarlet sage

Sego lily

Shagbark hickory

Shan ku'ei-lai

Shellbark hickory

Shiny leaf smilax

Shrimp cactus

Silver bell

Silver berry

Silver heart

Silver-leaf peperomia

Silver nerve plant

Silver pink vine

Silver star

Silver table fern

Silver tree anamiga

Slender deutzia

Small fruited hickory

Smilax tamnoides vas

Speckled wood lily

Spice orchid

Spider ivy

Spider plant

Spotted laurel

Squarenut

Squirrels foot fern

Star jasmine

Star lily

Star plant

Star tulip

Star window plant

Strawberry

Striped blushing

Sugar pods

Sulfur flower

Summer hyacinth

Swedish ivy

Sweetheart hoya

Sweetheart peperomia

Sweet william

Sword fern



T

Tahitian bridal veil

Tailed orchid

Tall feather fern

Tall mahonia

Teasel gourd

Texas sage

Thea japonica

Thimble cactus

Thorn apple

Ti hu-ling

Tiger orchid

Toad spotted cactus

Torch lily

Tous-les-mois

Trailing peperomia

Tree cactus

Tree gloxinia

Tropical moss

True cantalope

Tu fu-ling

Tulip poplar

Tulip tree

Turban squash

Turf lily



U

Umbrella plant

Urbinia agavoides

Usambara violet



V

Variegated laurel

Variegated oval leaf peperomia

Variegated philodendron leaf

Variegated wandering jew

Variegated wax plant

Velvet plant

Venus fly trap

Verona fern

Verona lace fern

Vining peperomia

Violet slipper gloxinia



W

Waffle plant

Walking anthericum

Washington hawthorn

Water hickory

Watermelon begonia

Watermelon peperomia

Watermelon pilea

Wax plant

Wax rosette

Weeping bottlebrush

Weeping sergeant hemlock

Weisdornbluten

West indian gherkin

Western sword

White ginger

White edged swedish ivy

White heart hickory

Whitman fern

Wild buckwheat

Wild buckwheat

Wild hyacinth

Wild lantana

Wild sarsaparilla

Wild strawberry

Willow herb

Windmill palm

Winter cattleya

Withered snapdragon

Woolflower



Y

Yellow bloodleaf

Yellow-flowered gourd

Yerba linda



Z

Zebra haworthia

Zebra plant

Zinnia sp.

Zucchini squash

Check out my source for more info on dog friendly yards:
Reply:It will probably be easier to read the list of what NOT to plant and then go from there.

ASPCA

Animal Poison Control Center

Toxic PlantsThis list contains plants that have been reported as having systemic effects on animals and/or intense effects on the gastrointestinal tract.

http://www.aspca.org/site/PageServer?pag...

***************NOTE**************

Non Poisonous Plants for Dogs and Cats

http://www.petfriendlyhouse.com/informat...

Don't take the advice of any of the experts in this category in Yahoo! Answers sometimes they just put an answer.



Follow the directions of the real experts above.
Reply:Try something hardy and WOODY. Also, don't let your dog outside too much. Get it to a park. Grass plants can't hurt either.
Reply:boxwood and is easily shaped

Survey: Bailing wire and duct tape or protractor and contractor?

Bailing wire and duct tape or protractor and contractor

NASCAR or Formula One

Exotic Palms or Oleanders

Roses or Lillis

Ice road truckers and Deadliest Catch or House and Bones

BBQ Ribs or Duck Ala Ronge

Skate boards or Mopeds

Laptop or Desktop

Apple or Dell or Sony

Freestyle or Precise

Read directions or don't usually need them

Hot dogs and hamburgers or Thai, Italian and Mexican food

Very clean house or looks lived in

White walls or full of color

The big chair of the couch

Nickelback or Beatles

Survey: Bailing wire and duct tape or protractor and contractor?
anything with duct tape

nascar

oleanders

roses

deadliest catch

ribs

mopeds

laptop

dell

precise

don't need them

dogs and burgers

lived in

white with lots of stuff on them

big ol soft couch

beatles
Reply:Protractor and contractor

Formula One

Oleander

Roses

House and Bones

Duck Ala Ronge

Mopeds

Laptop with a docking port, full size monitor, and ergonomic keyboard for when I'm home.

Dell

Freestyle

Read directions

Hamburgers and Italian and Mexican food...sorry, you can keep the hot dogs and Thai food.

Very clean house as long as I don't have to clean it.

Full Color

The big chair

Beatles
Reply:bailing wire and duct tape

NASCAR

exotic palms

lillis

House and bones

BBQ Ribs... definately

skateboards

laptop

dell

freestyle

don't read directions... just wing it

Thai, ITALIAN, and mexican food... i LOVE Italian food

looks lived in ... unless you wanna clean it for me :)

COLOR!!!!! ...white is tooo boring

The big chair ... mine is actually quite comfy( squishy leather)

Nickelback ... but the Beatles are good too...
Reply:Bailing wire and duct tape or protractor and contractor...contractor

NASCAR or Formula One... f/o

Exotic Palms or Oleanders... oleanders

Roses or Lillis.... roses

Ice road truckers and Deadliest Catch or House and Bones....House no bones

BBQ Ribs or Duck Ala Ronge...... BBQ

Skate boards or Mopeds .... boards

Laptop or Desktop.... desk

Apple or Dell or Sony.... Sony

Freestyle or Precise.... precise

Read directions or don't usually need them..... read, eventually

Hot dogs and hamburgers or Thai, Italian and Mexican food ....Mexican

Very clean house or looks lived in.... lived in

White walls or full of color.... white

The big chair of the couch ..... big chair

Nickelback or Beatles.... Beatles
Reply:1) Protrator and contractor, hopefully hot looking.

2) Nascar

3) Exotic Palms

4)Roses

5) House and Bones

6) BBq Ribs

7) Moped

8) Desktop

9) Dell

10) Freestyle

11) Thai, Italian, and Mexican

12) Looks lived in

13) Different colors, soothing

14) The couch

15) Beatles

LMAO
Reply:Bailing wire and duct tape

NASCAR

Exotic Palms

Roses

House and Bones

BBQ Ribs

Mopeds

Laptop

Dell

Precise

Read directions (I read, hubby THINKS he doesn't need them) - must be why we stay lost in a new city

Hot dogs and hamburgers

looks lived in

full of color

The big chair

Beatles
Reply:Answers to questions:



Bailing wire and duct tape

NASCAR

Exotic Palms

Neither - Mimosa and Honeysuckle!

House and Bones

BBQ Ribs

Mopeds

Desktop

Neither - HP

Freestyle

don't usually need them

Hot dogs and hamburgers

looks lived in

full of color

The big chair

Beatles
Reply:Protractor and contractor

Formula One

Oleanders (have a bunch in the yard)

Roses

House %26amp; Bones

BBQ Ribs

Mopeds

Desktop

Dell

Freestyle

Don't read directions unless desperate

Hot dogs and hamburgers

Looks lived in

White walls

Big chair

Nickelback
Reply:I stopped after graduating from college to become a teacher. So, I'll accept bailing wire and duct tape any day
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jane
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WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME/COLOGNE???? I just bought Azuree Soleil tonight and it smells great.....yours?

I just bought some new perfumes.... one of them is azuree soleil it kind of smelles like oleanders......its made by estee lauder. Other perfumes I bought were britney spears newest...2007 addition, (which I am going to take back.....it seems to smell different on paper than on me) and "diamonds" by giorgio armani...a very light fragrance. So have any of you people tried these fragrances???



If NOT......What is your favorite PERFUME??? or COLOGNE??? :)





My all time favorite is "HOT COUTURE" by Givenche :P





Thanks !!

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME/COLOGNE???? I just bought Azuree Soleil tonight and it smells great.....yours?
Mine are (in order of preference)

1. Givenche Organza Indecence (discontinued but I stocked up)

2. Jean Paul Gaultier Classique

3. Burberry Brit

4. Giorgio Armani Sensi
Reply:i love 'catsuit'



its cheap but it smells really really lovely
Reply:lacoste red cologne
Reply:i like sweet p from the mall. god, that stuff smells absolutely amazing!!!
Reply:i just bought the new marc jacobs "daisy" perfume. it smells so good!
Reply:davidoff collection
Reply:Armani Mania
Reply:I don't really have an expensive taste when it comes to perfume, but I do love a really nice fragrance. My favorite is white cherry blossom from Bath and Body. If you have not smelled it, you need to. I love it. I always get compliments on how good I smell. I get even more when people find out the price.
Reply:Chance by Channel!
Reply:red by gorgio
Reply:L'Eau d'Issey by Issey Miyake

azalea

Build over existing retaining wall?

We have a cinder block wall about 50 feet long by 3-4 feet high as a retainer. The wall has been leaning forward for several years. We talked to our landscape person and he said he could put a river rock retainer with concrete over the existing cinder block wall to hold the old wall in place and give it some opposing resistance. The river rock retainer will also be dug down 1 or 1 1/2 feet with under the ground foundation. We went to his house and he showed that he did it with his old cinder block wall and it looks incredible. In your opinion, do you think that this is okay to do. Is there anything we should make sure of before we do this? We dont want to spend 20K ripping the old one out when we could just retain this one with the new river rock wall. Also, the wall had a bunch of oleanders on it and other trees which we are having taken out as we speak.

Build over existing retaining wall?
My Grandfather with my brothers help built over a retaining wall. At the base they made it about 3 feet thick then tapered it thinner as it went up. We live in Earthquake prone California. The building inspector said it would take a quake large enough to level the entire town before that wall could ever sustain damage.
Reply:The wall was built in 1965-in San Fernando, CA. and was not damaged in the 1971 earthquake centered in Sylmar (2 miles away) or the 1994 Northridge quake. It is still doing the job with no damage to this date. Report It
Reply:sounds like he know what he's doing.
Reply:I believe that this could be done and have a fine result. You just make certain that your contractor is licensed and insured.

Ground cover ideas needed?

We just got done remodleing our pool area which involved hauling out a lot of river rock and getting rid of small palms around the pool to open it up. Now all we have is dirt.



My hubby doesn't want grass, too much maintenance. No fake grass, it's too expensive %26amp; the oleanders shedding would be messy. No gravel b/c it will hurt your feet barefoot.



He wants decomposed gravel - but I do not b/c it will still get muddy if it rains.



Any ideas out there?

Ground cover ideas needed?
Try about 4"- 6" of premium cypris mulch over a ground facric. Create a meandering pathway to the pool using cobblestones. The cobblestoned would actually be good for barefooting on because in many parts of the world, reflexology paths and “barefoot parks” are becoming very popular because they offer feet a chance to experience varieties of textured surfaces. In addition to biomechanical advantages of regular barefoot exercising, many holistic health practitioners believe the tactile stimulation underfoot while walking barefoot on natural surfaces has positive effects on body, mind and spirit.
Reply:Mexican heather is a great ground covering and grows hearty with very little care..spreads nice and are small plants with tons of little purple/pinkish flowers on it..alot of malls use these for thier landscaping..

http://aggie-horticulture.tamu.edu/arans...



http://www.bonnieplants.com/Default.aspx...
Reply:carpet of snow ground cover

stays close to the ground like ivy and has thousand of flowers

comes in white,pink and red

chokes out weeds and grows fast [Ohio]
Reply:I love my bugelweed (ajuga reptans)...it's hardy....comes back each year...has great color....and grows without much maintenance!



This year I got Lamium Maculatum in Beacon Silver....ooooh, it's very pretty and needs little care also...



They both bloom in purple and are perenials...
Reply:If you were to put down some landscaping fabric around the pool than take some bags of leveling sand poured out over the fabric. The out come will be that the sand shouldn't wash away if you boarder it, you'll have no weeds and your feet won't hurt. Maintence free
Reply:These are the ground covers on my property. I live in Zone 7.



1. Vinca. I have periwinkle vinca. http://www.forde-nursery.com/images/pere... http://tncweeds.ucdavis.edu/esadocs/vinc... varieties ike sun, some like shade.



2. Monkey grass, mondo grass, liriope (call it what you want!). Many different colors, sizes, sun/shade. http://www.hsv-life.com/house/landscape/... Can be planted thinly or thickly. I interperse mine with small boulders for more interest.



3. Ajuga. Shade plant, so may not be suitable. Spreads rapidly. http://www.evergreennurseryinc.net/plant... http://www.danielleblog.com/archives/aju...



In addition, the following website is an excellent source for ground covers: http://pubs.caes.uga.edu/caespubs/pubcd/...
Reply:I really like Mondo grass (Ophiopogon species). It can get expensive in large plantings, but you never have to cut it. You didn't say how much sun you have or how much foot traffic the area will take. Mondo is tolerant of foot traffic once it is established. Other ground covers are pachysandra, liriope, ajuga, and vinca minor. These aren't as good for traffic areas.
Reply:You can do a outdoor tile all around it.

Drug addict/eating disordered friend?

I've known this girl for a few years and we haven't talked much in the past few years because of a very complicated sitution but she does every type of drug except meth and has been in and out of rehab two times for an eating disorder and ate white oleanders to get out one of the seven times



she just doesn't have a reason to live and i wish i could give her one but life pretty much sucks especially for her, she had it pretty rough growing up, no longer has a college fund because of rehab and has failed ninth grade a few times because of absences anyway



but im talking to her and i suppose just giving her a semi-good influence helps but i would like some imput in what advice i could give her in getting clean, obviously normal programs don't help, shes been on methadone and lithium and just uses them as a supplement to her habits

what can i say to help her? why shouldn't she stay on them honestly? when you think about it. she doesn't care if she dies and can't handle pain

Drug addict/eating disordered friend?
I wish there was a good answer for your question. I wish there was some magical thing you could say to someone you love and they would quit hurting themselves. Just continue to be her friend and let her know you are their for her if and when she chooses to get help. My sister was a cocaine and heroin addict she died last year from an overdose of cocaine before she died she was in and out of rehabs at one point (when she was sober) she wrote a poem about her addiction. It is a really good poem it is posted on her website http://www.ken.malott.com/bridget/bridge... . You can try showing her this website and this poem if you want.My sister was also bipolar and used street drugs to self medicate. ufourtantley if your friend doesn't stop she will end up dead. Good Luck. I know first hand how hard it is to watch someone you love kill themselves.
Reply:unfortunately drug addiction and recovery is really a lonesome disease, no one can really pull you up but you. Make sure she has access to people who have dealt with addiction themselves and just be there as a friend when she needs one. If you get too deeply involved with her recovery and she slips she will take you down a bit too.
Reply:You can't change people. It is her life and her choices.
Reply:I think that all you can do is be there for her. It's hard to understand a person's motivations for the way they live, and there is no textbook answer because every person is unique. You maybe could find a group like Codependent Anonymous, or al-anon that could give you a little bit of insight. Also, try your local county mental health unit. They may have a counselor that can steer you in the right direction.

What you have to remember is this-In your head, you are being a good influence, but maybe not in hers. I've been in similar situations (both sides of it) and sometimes the stability that you offer actually enables this kind of lifestyle. I did some stupid things when I was young, and I used people that thought they were being my friends by trying to be a good influence. Now that I've grown up, I can see what was going on, and see when somebody is using me for a place to stay, or a meal, or somewhere to go hide for a while. I kindly but firmly let these people know that I am here for them, but won't be taken advantage of.

I am glad that you are trying to help your friend, but it is a rocky path that you are on, so please get professional advice.
Reply:Yeah! I two did the drug thing but you know what? YOUR FRIEND WILL NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER FIND HAPPINESS AND RELEASE FOR PAIN THAT WAY!!!!!!!!!

I found that I did the drug thing and the next day and the many days and months after that I realized that my problems in life WHERE STILL THERE!? I would first suggest to you to tell your friend to be truthful about her situation and find a drug de-tox place somewhere in your own town. She is going to find that this is pure hell but, after de-tox she is going to find it makes a big difference! Second, Know she probably feels her Life doesn't have a purpose probably because of some of the problems she has in countered in her past! I believe after she goes thou de-tox it would be important to ask her if she would be willing to see a priest or a christian counselor about her painful past. I think that she needs to start forgiving all of the people that have hurt her and renounce them in Jesus name! A priest or some Church's even have christian counselors that would be able to assist you and her. You would make the calls to some of the Church's in your area to see if they offer christian counseling services. But first she has to work herself off the drugs and only then if she is honest about all the people that hurt her and wants to release her pain from her past only then would I call some of the Church's. I tell you what progress will she make by just stays in her house or other peoples houses, feeling sorry for herself and getting high!? Ask her does she want a REAL HIGH!? Then I challenge her to get HIGH ON THE HOLY SPIRIT OF JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! I challenge her to make something out of her life and be a role model to someone!First before I say anything more I would like to recommend two books to you for her for finding purpose in your life! (After of course she decides drugs aren't the best way to live and she chooses to make something out of her life.) I recommend reading: 1. The Purpose Driven Life. by Rick Warren 2002 and 2. Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen 2004. Yes! I have been though depression and drugs! She got to understand there is no easy way out even if she decides to end her life. I also believe the reason she feels so depressed and she needs drugs is because her heart is feeling that something is missing. I believe that something is the love of God and Jesus Christ! The Bible says that you were created to have a fellowship with God, and to have Him at the center of your life, NOT DRUGS!. Did your friend know God loves her and values her! "God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son Jesus, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."(John 3:16)Know apart from Jesus Christ, the Bible tells us, we are "harassed and helpless, like sheep with out a shepherd" (Matt 9:36). But God loves us, and one reason he has allowed her to have this feeling of emptiness in her heart is that He loves her and wants her to seek him and have a relationship with him. No matter how hard we try or what means we use--material possessions, money, pleasure, drugs, or whatever--the emptiness is still there. The thing is that if you let your emptiness go this leads into depression AND MORE DRUG USE! How do I know this? Because I have dealt with that empty feeling, life with no purpose or meaning and eventually depression and drugs. The three things that really turned my life around was: 1. Knowing that God and Jesus Loved me and I was valued! 2. Knowing I had people on my side at church, in my social life and in my family that cared about me! and 3. I had to get myself out of the atmosphere that I was in! When you put yourself in line with what God has for you, then you will see yourself back with a renewed joy! That also means changing the atmosphere were she buys her drugs and where she uses her drugs! I would not be telling her this if I had not experienced what she feels for myself! Know down inside her, she is really looking for love and happiness but she will never find it the way she is living right now. God created her, and God loves her. His only Son, Jesus Christ, loved her so much that he gave His life on the cross so she could be saved and break free from in perfectness, sin and this empty feeling to become a child of God. When you accept Jesus Christ into your life, something wonderful and supernatural happens. God Himself comes to dwell within you! You become part of His family, and you can know the joy of His presence every day. The Bible says: "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5). She may ask "where was God in the my bad times in my life!". I tell you He was there! The fact of the matter is that we all make bad choices in life, or others make bad choices in life! But the thing is that we don't have to live like that for the future! As a christian I know that Church is a excellent place to meet people that might of once felt the way your friend does now with no purpose and they might tell her how they now live for Jesus and how they have found that purpose like me. Not only at church service but a lot of church's have activities like support groups, single events and small groups like bible study! Not only will she be meeting new people and developing relationships with them, she will be also be developing a relationship with God and Jesus by learning what the word of God (the Bible) has to offer her in her life. The fact of the matter is she needs to put herself in a new atmosphere with de-tox,forgiveness and by building a personal relationship with God! I battled though depression and drugs! So, I felt like life was just one, big black, end less, tunnel that I felt so alone and that no one valued me and my only release from anxiety was drugs! Which is not true! I later found out that I was valued! I was valued by Jesus because he gave his life on the cross for me! and in essence I was carrying my own cross and Jesus said "let me carry that for a while and you put your faith in me and I will bring you hope for the future and a future partner!" You know what? He did! Now am happily married to the woman of my dreams! I will be praying for you and your friend! I would encourage you if you know Jesus to pray for your friend that she may come to realize that she doesn't want to live life like this! I pray that one day she might find happiness and love in a purpose filled life in Jesus! May God Bless you and your friend! In Jesus Name Amen
Reply:Maybe your friend should be checked for a bipolar disorder or tested for depression. If this is part of the problem, they can put her on meds to help. There is also a drug that can be given to her to help her so she can't get high off of certain drugs.
Reply:You are very much describing a person I know, a drug addict girl. Did constantly pretty much every single drug except heroin n meth. Cocaine + pills was daily used, weighed 85 pounds... in and out of rehab and mental institututions her whole life... She died 3 weeks ago of an overdose. She took oxycotton and cocaine (in huge amounts btw, she would pretty much snort 1 gram just in one line), and this time she died.

I believe that sometimes you just can't change people like that.
Reply:if you are still young, harm reduction should not be an option. She can recover with some intensive treatment and support from very good friends like you. You could try to help her uncover any past issue that cintribute to drug abuse.
Reply:wow. im sooo sorry to hear about your friend. i honestly dont know the answer to your question and i dont think anyone else will on this site.. all i can say is ill pray for u and her.



honestly. shes the only person who can help herself now.. just be there along the way.. kinda like a shoulder to cry on. but if u ever feel too stressed over her problems take a few minute breather and just continue. its basically all u can do.
Reply:tell her how much you care about her and how stubburn it would be to continue her habbits.